HOW DO YOUR STANDARDS AFFECT YOUR LIFESTYLE?

Remember these three words, and your life will never be the same again…

Oftentimes, you hear people talking about what they want to have in their lives. And for some reason, we have this subconscious ability to predict, more or less, whether they are likely to succeed. But we don’t actually know how we do that; we just have a feeling about it.

I would like to talk about this feeling and explore the subject further because ultimately, I believe it would be of great value to your personal life and how you approach your own goals.

Let’s first have a look at examples of things that people seem to say and what they are actually saying. Most of the time, when people talk about a particular topic they are actually saying a lot more than the words we hear.

Someone who says, “I would like to buy a beautiful flat in Manhattan,” and who says it with enthusiasm, is very likely to make you believe that they are going to achieve that goal. That’s because what they are actually saying is:

“I would like to live in one of the greatest boroughs of New York City and I am confident I can do that. It’s the place for me and I see no reason why I wouldn’t be able to achieve this. I am very excited about the thought of that.”

Let's look at a person who says, “I wish I could have a flat in Manhattan, but it's so expensive and you must be very privileged to live there.”

What he is actually saying is:

“I would like to live in a good borough of New York; however, I don’t think I am good enough to live there. I have no privilege; therefore things will be harder for me than for people with privilege. I am also likely to resent people with privilege. Thus, I will avoid contact with them. This will make it almost impossible for me to feel comfortable living around people I think are superior to me. This is just a dream. I would never even try to move there.”

The issue here is that the second person has lots of limiting beliefs that will stop him from even trying to get what he wants. And if somehow, he gets lucky, or manages to get what he wants, he will feel scared, uncomfortable, undeserving and will likely lose what he has because his goals are not in sync with his beliefs about who he is.

“Your goals must be in synchronicity with the beliefs you hold about yourself.”

When you have a goal in your life, whether it is a dream job, an amazing relationship, a new house, or just the general sense of wealth and wellbeing, first and foremost it’s imperative that you:

• Feel deeply deserving of what you want

• Believe it to be possible for you

• Feel completely comfortable and excited about the thought of having what you want

• Feel excited about others who already have what you desire and use them as inspiration

• See others who have what you want as possibly more experienced but as equals and you are looking forward to learning from them

• When you are close to getting what you want, you can even feel a bit anxious about the unknown, but you are mostly excited

• When you finally get what you want, you feel grateful and happy

• You see what you want as an abundant resource

Those are signs that you are in alignment with your goals and all you need is a plan and the discipline to go after what you want.

But what if you feel you might not be fully in alignment?

Here are some of the main signs you are not in sync with your goals:

• You fear you might not be good enough

• You don’t trust your abilities and think you might fail

• You feel scared and anxious when you think about your goal

• You feel jealous or resentful of others who have what you want

• Instead of seeing the ones who already have what you want as an inspiration, you see them as superior, entitled, or you justify to yourself how unfair it is that they got that, and you didn’t

• If you are close to getting what you want, you get even more scared

• When you finally get what you want, you are afraid of losing it

• You see what you want as a limited and scarce resource

If you identify with some of the signs above, don’t panic! There are ways to work on those and get that mindset fixed.

Most of us have limiting beliefs that impair mindset and the ability to reach for goals in one or more areas of life. The trick is to identify them so you can get yourself into the right mindset to finally and fully get your life on track.

Beliefs are like the foundation of a house. Working towards a goal that you don’t believe that you can get, for one reason or another, is like building a very expensive house on sand. And you don’t want to do that!

It’s time-consuming. It will fail at some point, and it will deepen your limiting belief that what you want is too hard, not for you, or that you are just not good enough.

We can’t let that happen!

So next time, take a deep breath. Check with yourself on how you actually feel about what you want. Be honest, no judgment. Be kind to yourself. Work on the foundation first and make sure you are 100% on your side.

Ultimately, the next steps will get easier and lighter, things will align and fall into place, and you will have the life you deserve.